When did sadness become a socially unacceptable feeling? It’s
a feeling like every other one. I think it is being unjustly discriminated
against. When people are happy, we say, “GREAT!” When people are grieving, we
say, “I’m sorry.” So why is it when we are sad people say, “You have so much to
be thankful about!” or “It could always be worse!” Why not a simple, “I’m
sorry.” in this case too?
I have so many blessings in my life there are too many to
count. How great is that? But I am also sad. A LOT. I think I know why I’m sad a lot. My love language is words of
affirmation. (If you have never heard of the 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman
do yourself a favor and read his book, google it, or take his online quiz. It changed
my life. It changed my marriage.) That means I give love with affirming words,
positive comments, and support. It also means that I most feel loved when I am
receiving the same affirming words, positive comments, and support. However, it
seems to me, I am surrounded by so much constant negativity that it is nearly
impossible to be anything but sad. Maybe I am also more affected by the
negativity since my love language is words of affirmation. The local and
national news is hardly tolerable to me. The “all about me” mentality is a
bummer. Rude, inconsiderate people are a real bummer. Refereeing and taxing four
children that always want or need something is a thankless job (well from them
anyway). It’s not hard to see why I feel drained and sad a lot. Not always but
a lot.
Today, my husband got the kids up and ready for school as
usual (his love language is obviously acts of service). I was able to hide
under the covers as long as possible. I woke up to a crying 6 yr old
(negativity) and sassy/frustrated 6 yr old (negativity). I walk them into
school. Both cling to me like it was the first day of school and one 6 yr old still
crying (negativity). I get a text that we have a puking 12 yr old on the way to
school (negativity) but she was fine and going to stick it out (she gets car
sick easily). I got home and quickly rode my bike (I detest exercise so this is
a negative because I just have to do it and then a positive that I got it
completed). I got in the shower afterwards and just cried my eyes out because I
was sad. Sad as could be at 8:45 am. Nothing is horribly wrong but I am giving
myself permission to just be sad. Also, if you tell me to put on my big girl
panties and deal with it before I’m ready to, expect a prompt punch to the
mouth. It is OKAY to be sad no matter how good or bad things are at any given
moment. Okay? Can we be nice to the sad? I got a call from the school nurse
that 12 yr old is still puking (negativity). I texted one of my circle of truth mom’s about my cry and
she promptly called. YES, support….feeling better already!! Pick up 12 year old
from school and have to cancel lunch date with another circle of truth mom (negativity). My point here is that most days I’m
surrounded by more negativity than positivity and it weighs me down because of
my love language.
I am very thankful that typically at the end of most school
days when I run into a friend at school pick-up, I know I will always hear a
kind word from her. I look forward to that on school days. I doubt she even
knows she is a breath of kind air in the day of negativity. I need to tell her
that. I also need to tell my other supportive friends and family that they are
my breath of kind air in a day filled with negativity. REMEMBER, I am words of
affirmation.
p.s. I’ve already perked up and I’m not sad anymore at 11:38
am. BUT, now I’m hungry J
